I Distinctly Remember
by Kate1013
Summary: A few guests start the gang reminiscing over a few key events. Pure fluff and team banter. S/J centered. Extra chapter added.
1. I distinctly remember

A/N: Yay, my first ship day fic! Whoop! Bizarrely, this was written before the whole name discussion on GW. For obvious reasons, this is merely banter and bit of fluff. :)

* * *

**I Distinctly Remember...**

-0-

"Why do you call Aunt Sam, 'Carter'?"

Jack peered at the young teenage girl as he sat down at the table opposite her, his eyebrows reaching high into his hairline. He spared a quick glance at her father sitting beside her, receiving an equally quizzical look.

"Well," Jack began, "It's a military thing..."

The girl frowned, her nose scrunching up and reminding him of Sam. Jack wondered, not for the first time since he'd met her niece, what Sam must have looked like at that age. "What do you mean?" Abby asked.

Jack swallowed a mouthful of his burger. "Well when I first met Sam, it was through work and people in the military often call each other by their surname so..." he shrugged, "I got into the habit of calling her 'Carter'..."

"Ah... That's not strictly true..." Daniel placed a plate on the table and slid onto the end of the bench, closely followed by Teal'c.

"Daniel..."

The other man simply shrugged, ignoring Jack's verbal warning. "Well it's not," he replied, his mouth half full of food. "You used to call her 'Sam' for a good year or so before..." and he waved his fork in the air in some sort of gesture.

There was a long pause, where everyone at the table suddenly fell silent. Jack simply studied his half eaten burger.

"Before...?" All eyes suddenly fell on Mark, Sam's brother, who was weaving his own fork in a similar gesture to Daniel.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and swallowed. "Well... whatever happened, happened..."

Mark glanced from one man to the other and Jack suddenly realised that the frown must be some genetic family trait.

"I concur," Teal'c tilted his head to one side in agreement. "When we first began serving together, O'Neill did indeed refer to Colonel Carter simply as 'Sam' when not in battle. Sometime later this did in fact alter, although I too cannot identify exactly what date this change occurred."

"See..." Daniel responded, his head nodding up and down. "Teal'c agrees with me."

Jack merely shook his head. "You see, Daniel, that's where you're both wrong." He eyed both his former team members. "Because I distinctly remember Sam insisting I call her 'Captain' when we first met..."

Both Daniel and Teal'c paused, heads tilted in thought for the briefest of moments.

"Didn't Sam chew you out, when you first met?" Daniel asked innocently. Then realising the severity of what he'd said, threw Jack a teasing smile.

"You weren't even there!" Jack cried. "What would you know?"

"I too heard something of this nature," Teal'c agreed. "Is it not true that Colonel Carter challenged you to an arm wrestle, O'Neill?"

Jack's mouth opened and closed momentarily, the man unable to form a word before a rumble of laughter hit his ears. Sam's brother was sitting there grinning, his daughter sporting an equally delighted expression.

"Did she win?" Abby asked innocently.

Jack would have glared at the girl, if she hadn't have been bouncing up and down in her seat so excitedly. Fortunately he was saved by the woman in question, who suddenly appeared with her own plate full of barbecued food. She slid into the seat between Daniel and Jack and eyed the table's occupants warily.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Jack was just telling us of the day you and he first met," Daniel replied cheerily. He threw a smug grin at Jack, delighting in the scowl on the other man's face. But the loud groan that suddenly hit his ears came from Sam instead of the General.

"Jack..." she whined.

"Hey!" Jack shrugged, "It was Daniel, not me!"

"What's so bad about the day you first met?" Mark asked. Sam and Jack both looked at him at the same time.

"You mean apart from the arm wrestling?" Daniel asked.

"Well, there was the whole feminist chip on her shoulder thingy..." Jack replied, waving a sausage in the air with his fork. His expression appeared all innocent while Sam simply covered her face with her hands.

"I can't believe you are telling people this..." She muttered.

"Something about her reproductive organs being on the inside instead of the outside..." Jack grinned. Sam nudged his shoulder with hers as she cringed. "Well..." he said, glancing down at her. "I thought it was..."

"Cringe worthy?" Sam offered.

"I was going to say profound..." She shook her head at his continual play of innocence, unable to suppress the grin that he was trying to provoke.

"Well..." Sam replied, carefully watching Jack as he took a sip from his bottle of beer. "It's not as bad as thinking I was a man, I suppose..."

Jack nearly spat out the drink in his mouth. "For the record, I did not think you were a man!"

"Oh I distinctly remember you saying-"

"That was Hammond's fault - he implied you were a guy! What else was I supposed to think?" Jack glanced at the woman beside him, pausing when he saw the playful smirk on her lips. "Carter!"

"See!" Abby cried, delighted when Jack uttered the name again.

Sam glanced at her niece after her sudden outburst. "Abby thinks it's weird that Jack sometimes calls you 'Carter'," Mark offered, seeing the confusion lining her brow.

"Oh... really?"

Abby simply nodded.

Sam glanced up at Jack, his eyes softening as he smiled down at her and making her insides flip. She leaned into his side, her arm snaking its way around his back as his automatically found her shoulder, pulling her towards him.

"Well," Sam said, her focus solely on her niece. "Can I tell you secret?" Abby nodded. "Sometimes I like it when Jack calls me that..."

Daniel suddenly groaned loudly, and the hand that rested on Sam's right shoulder suddenly let go and whacked Daniel on the back of the head.

"Ow!"

Abby simply giggled and Jack threw her a wink.

"That hurt!" Daniel protested.

"Serves you right." Jack bit back.

"It was Sam who started it!"

"Oh please!" Sam cried, turning in her seat to face Daniel. "When I first met you, Sha're was practically sucking your face off!"

"Exactly what does sucking ones face off entail?"

The table went silent. Sam, Jack and Daniel struggled not to burst out laughing, while the others couldn't work out if Teal'c was actually being serious or not.

"Did someone say 'suck'...?"

Jack groaned inwardly as Vala appeared, Cassie tagging along by her side. "Oh for crying out loud! There is a kid at the table!" He cried.

"I don't mind!" Abby perked up.

"I do!" Mark added.

"Seriously," Cassie said, stopping beside Abby, "If I was you, I would cover your ears and close your eyes... these guys can get awfully 'icky' after a while..."

"Cassie!" Sam had that mothering tone almost down to a tee.

"What? It's true. You didn't come home one morning to find Jack sitting in his boxing shorts at the kitchen table..."

A flush of pink hit Sam's cheeks, while Jack merely raised an eyebrow at the young woman. "And what were you doing coming home in the _morning_...?" He asked.

"Seriously," Sam cried, as Cassie's face turned pink to match hers. "Can we all just stop talking about my love life?"

"Its okay, Samantha," Vala stated. "These guys are just jealous 'cause they don't have one."

"Really?" Daniel replied. "Out of everyone on this table, at least three quarters of us are in a relationship. I hardly think that you can say that anyone here is jealous."

"Well..." Vala dragged out the word, glancing around the table. "Teal'c can hardly be satisfied if he doesn't know what sucking someone's face off is like!"

Daniel just stared at her open mouthed, while a series of groans and cries were uttered from the other end of the table. A fork was clattered on a plate somewhere and Vala studiously ignored the rising eyebrow on Teal'c's face.

"I can demonstrate on_ you_, if you like?"

Daniel merely sighed and rolled his eyes in response.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Jack muttered under his breath. "Daniel, why does this always happen to _you_?"

Sam swiftly turned her head to stare at the man by her side. He stabbed at a sausage with his fork before glancing up to look into her eyes. He couldn't help but notice the mischievous twinkle in her eye, or the slight smile that curled upon her lips. "What?" Jack asked.

Placing her hand around the back of his neck, Sam simply pulled his face to hers, kissing him ferociously. Making sure that it was as loud and sensuous as possible, Sam dragged it out as long as she could manage before she had to pull back for air. Leaning her forehead against his for a moment, she had to bite her lip to stop the grin from spreading across her face. "Complaining?" She asked, pulling back slightly.

Jack's mouth opened and closed silently, as his brain struggled to regain control. "Uh-uh..." He managed to squeak out, shaking his head and clearing his throat, his lungs still heaving.

Sam merely grinned, pulling back and picking up her burger as though nothing had ever happened.

Daniel and Mark simply stared with their mouths hanging open; Vala had a stupid grin on her face; Teal'c's eyebrows had disappeared under his hat; while Cassie had simply covered Abby's eyes with her hands.

"Well," Daniel coughed. He glanced around the table, looking anywhere but at the couple beside him, before turning to Teal'c at his side. "If you need anything else demonstrating, I'm going home."


	2. Infected

A/N: I was simply watching Broca Divide and this came out. Don't ask me how. There wasn't meant to be a sequel...

* * *

"So I'm guessing you and Jack had a few 'moments' while working together, huh?"

Sam turned to look at her brother, eyebrow raised as though daring him to continue.

The man in question simply held a smirk on his lips. "What?" He shrugged, "It's not as though it matters now anyway..."

Mark's eyes met Jack's as the latter handed a bottle of beer to each of the siblings. "Daniel!" He shouted after a brief pause, sitting down next to Sam on the wooden bench against the wall.

"What?" The other man shouted back, his body slowly following his voice as he moved out of the kitchen to meet the others on the back porch.

"Whatcha been telling people?"

"Me?" Daniel replied. "Nothing..."

"Well it was hardly Teal'c was it?"

As if by magic, the other man in question appeared beside them, eyebrow tilted in question.

"One of you must have said something to my brother," Sam said, "He's hardly the most observant of people..."

"Hey!" Mark cried. He reached over to whack Sam on the arm, while she simply shrugged.

"You sure it wasn't Vala?" Daniel asked.

"Someone call my name?" Vala drawled, sloping out of the back door in one fluid motion. A series of people's eyes rolled. "Daniel, darling?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"You've been telling stories about Sam and Jack," Daniel huffed, loosening her hold on him.

Vala merely shrugged. "Nothing that Cam didn't already tell me," She added innocently. She slipped into another chair on the porch, sandwiching herself between Daniel and Teal'c. All heads turned to face her. "What?" she asked.

"What exactly did Cam tell you?" Sam asked.

Vala shrugged. "Just some stuff from some from the mission reports..."

"Like?"

Vala raised her chin at Jack's snippy tone. "Nothing that you wouldn't already know. That everyone knows actually... well except me and Cameron... we weren't there obviously..."

"Obviously..." Jack muttered under his breath. So far none of them knew exactly what she was going on about. "Care to share with the rest of the class?"

"Jack!" Sam cried, throwing him a look. "What if it's classified?"

"Wouldn't make any difference anyway..." Daniel announced, before Jack could even respond. All eyes were now on him. "None of the good stuff was in any of those reports anyway..."

"Good stuff?" Both Jack's eyebrows rose.

Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Yeah... the good stuff. Between you and Sam..."

"What good stuff?"

"Like you don't remember!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Daniel..."

Daniel simultaneously smirked and shrugged. "You know there was this one time," He turned his head to face Mark. "That Sam jumped him right in the locker room-"

"What?" Vala, who'd been slouching in an old lawn chair, suddenly sat up.

"It's true," Daniel continued. He nodded his head while studiously ignoring the two glares he was receiving.

"Daniel!" Sam cried, suddenly sitting up in her own seat. Jack, she noticed, despite initially glaring at their friend, appeared to have some sort of smirk forming on his own lips.

"I'm just telling it like Jack told me-"

"Oh, I _so_ did not tell it like that-"

"Uh-hu," Daniel cut him off. "I wasn't infected, remember?"

"Oh you so _were_!" Jack growled.

"Infected?" Vala piped up.

"With a virus we caught on a mission," Sam explained, her face now bright red, the flush rapidly spreading down her neck.

"And then Jack attacked me in some _insane_ fit of jealously for being concerned when Sam was in the infirmary-"

"Hang on!" Sam was practically on the edge of her seat now. "What?"

"I was not jealous!" Jack cried, waving a hand at Daniel and then back at Sam.

"When did this happen?" Sam indicated at Daniel, both ignoring the man by her side.

"Right after you attacked him."

"I didn't attack him, Daniel..."

"Did Colonel Makepeace not refer to this event as the 'Caveman Episode'?" Teal'c added. He sat with his fingertips pressed together in a steeple, his head titled to one side, one eyebrow raised.

The sound of laughter suddenly diverted everyone's attention from Teal'c to Mark, the latter simply grinning from ear to ear as he addressed his sister. "I'm seeing a whole new side of you, sis..."

Just as Sam opened her mouth, Vala voiced her agreement, elbowing Daniel as she did so. "I always did say Samantha had a dark side..."

"Dark side?" Teal'c enquired, shifting in his seat.

The pure mention of Star Wars had Mark cupping his hand over his mouth and blowing into it in order to mimic heaving breathing. "Luke..." He bellowed. Both Sam and Jack rolled their head's back in their seats and groaned. "I am your father..."

Sam whacked Vala on the leg that was swaying near her feet.

"Ow!" She cried. "I like Star Wars..."

"Do you think a moment can go by _without_ mentioning Star Wars?" Daniel asked curiously. A few murmurs of agreement came from one side, while a few protests came from the other. "Seriously Teal'c, you enjoy doing other things just as much."

"Such as, Daniel Jackson?"

Hand raised, palm side up, Daniel waved it at him. "I don't know... you've done other activities with us over the years..." The Jaffa merely stared, his face not moving a muscle. "Jack," Daniel turned to his other friend. "Help me out here."

Jack lowered the bottle from his mouth, peering over at the archaeologist.

"Jell-O wrestling." Teal'c suddenly stated.

Both Sam and Jack immediately burst out laughing. "T? Really?"

"It was your idea, O'Neill."

Jack nearly choked on his beer. "It so was _not_!"

"You didn't?" Although Sam's tone was serious, there was still a hint of incredulity in her voice. If it weren't for that, the sparkle in her eyes surely gave it away and Jack merely smiled at her, not saying a word as he settled back in his seat beside her and took a swig of his beer.

"Teal'c?" Jack peered over at the man. "When you first arrived in this country, didn't we cover American customs?"

"Indeed we did, O'Neill."

"Wasn't there one about not saying certain things in front of certain females?"

Sam swiftly whacked Jack on his arm, nearly spilling his drink down his shirt.

"You mean like certain events that have occurred that we are not meant to discuss in front of Samantha Carter?"

The glare that had landed on said woman mere seconds ago swiftly landed on the Jaffa in a matter of moments, Jack sinking further into his chair while Sam began rising in hers.

"Er...Teal'c..." Daniel butted in, seeing the looks transferring on the faces of his former team mates.

"Do you not remember the incident involving Malakai, Daniel Jackson, on 639?"

Daniel strained to remember the name, the planet's ID shortened so as not to give anything away to Sam's brother, and temporarily throwing him for a loop. "Oh," He said, once the light bulb had clicked on. A frown immediately formed as he glanced at his former team mates around him. "I don't remember-"

"You didn't?" Sam murmured, swivelling in her seat to directly face Jack. The man merely glanced back meekly, his lips unable to form any words. "You did, didn't you?" Again Jack remained silent, his body perfectly still. Daniel merely looked back and forth between the couple and Teal'c, his mouth hanging open in a silent 'o'. Sam shook her head, part in amusement, part in frustration. "I would know that patented Jack O'Neill smirk anywhere..." Sam continued. "You did, didn't you?" She asked again.

Jack merely shrugged. "Would it make any difference if I said either yes or no?" His face was a picture of innocence. A laugh tumbled out of Sam's lips before she had a chance to stop it. "You enjoyed it..." Jack added helpfully. As his luck would have it, Sam only laughed harder. "Seriously..."

"What am I missing?" Vala almost whispered, unable to take her eyes off of the interchange that was occurring between the couple in front of her.

"Same thing I am," Daniel murmured. He too was staring at the couple. "Teal'c?" He asked, turning to the Jaffa.

"I am not at liberty to discuss the situation."

Daniel raised his hand at him, "But you just-"

"Except to say that O'Neill exercised his dark side, as Vala Mal Doran put it..."

"Arghhh..." Daniel tilted his head back and groaned in frustration. "I curse the day ever introduced you to that movie..." He muttered. "So does that mean..." His words filtered out, his gaze catching the display of the couple before him again. Sam had swung her legs up onto Jack's lap, letting him play with her bare toes as they leaned into each other, talking quietly.

"Indeed." Teal'c merely replied.

"Huh," Daniel muttered. "I never even noticed..."

"Is there not a common saying in this country, Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel peered over at Teal'c.

"You learn something new every day..."


	3. Slugs, Ferrets and Goats

A/N: Hmmm... this has the whiff of a series about it doesn't it? I'm going to leave it marked as complete because, well, every chapter can be read either on its own or as a whole, and who knows when the muse will co-operate. Oh and I didn't mean to mention Star Wars again but it just grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go - perfect example of the muse not behaving! ;-) Thanks for the reviews guys!

* * *

"So if Daniel is Luke, Jack is Han and Sam is Leia, then who does that make you?" Mark couldn't tell if Teal'c was glaring at him or simply giving him his usual expression of 'raised eyebrow, tilted head'.

Fortunately Jack entered the kitchen and simply stared at them, breaking the man's spell. Shaking his head and muttering something unintelligible, Jack bypassed the two Star Wars fans and headed for the fridge.

"O'Neill does not agree with my reasoning," Teal'c announced, glancing from said friend to Sam's brother.

"You don't like being compared to Han Solo, huh?" Mark asked.

"Oh, it's not _that_," Jack declared. He pulled some bottles of beer out of the fridge and handed a couple to each of them. "I just don't think Daniel's much of a Skywalker..." He said, heading out into the back yard, the other two in tow.

"Hey!" Daniel cried, the tail end of their conversation filtering into the crowd outside.

"Daniel," Jack sighed. "It's not as though we haven't had this discussion before..." He, Teal'c and Mark plonked themselves down at the bench next to Daniel and passed around the beers.

"Still..." Daniel waved his hand in the air in some half hearted gesture. Jack simply smirked back at him. "Like you're really like Han Solo anyway..."

"Ohh, I don't know, there was that one time he wore that fetching white shirt and black vest..." Sam stated after grabbing one of the bottles and swallowing down a mouthful of beer.

Ignoring the smirks passing between the two, Daniel frowned. "I don't recall you wearing anything like that..."

"We were stuck off base for a week, when our transportation had broken down," Sam added. "You were in the infirmary with appendicitis."

"Ah yes..."

"What about the freezing incident in Antarctica?" Teal'c inquired.

"As in, like when Han got frozen in carbonite?" Mark asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Well..." Sam butted in before something classified could escape. "Something like that... I guess..."

"See, Daniel," Jack tilted the head of his bottle at the man across from him. "That's two more reasons than you..."

"Three." Everyone immediately glanced at Cam. The man simply shrugged, before stating, "He got the girl... Everyone knows about the little dance Han and Leia do throughout the galaxy... The General and Sam here had their own version..."

"So..." Vala drew out the word, long and slow. "That means that Jack here is all dressed up in his white shirt and black waistcoat, while Sam is-"

Cam raised his hand in the air for her to stop. "Don't say it!"

"What? About the-"

"Don't!"

"Well why not?" Vala crossed her arms and huffed.

"Every guy has, at some point in their life had some fantasy about that particular scene, and if you go talking about someone you know either wearing it or whatever, it will _spoil _it... for _all_ of us..."

"Except maybe Jack," Daniel added.

Cam nodded. "Except maybe Jack."

Vala looked across the faces of all the men at the table. All but one had a serious look on their face, as if daring her to continue.

The frown on Sam's face gradually morphed into a smile once she caught the look on Jack's face. She kicked him under the table before he could escape into a world of his own.

"So... that's three..." Jack hid his grin with a mouthful of beer.

"Why _were_ you wearing those clothes anyway?" Daniel suddenly asked.

"I was on my way home when we got recalled," Jack said, his defences getting up. "Anyway, why are you so hung up on my _clothes_? Carter came back with curly hair and Teal'c had a slug glued to his chin!"

"Slug?" Vala screwed up her nose is disgust. "Isn't that-"

"One of those small slimy creatures that come out of the ground when it rains, yes," Cameron supplied for her.

"Ew!"

"I don't think he meant a real slug," Mark butted in.

"I thought it was more like a ferret," Daniel added. "What?" He shrugged when everyone turned to him with either a raised eyebrow or puzzled expression. "They're kind of long, furry and blonde..."

"Please tell me we're talking about a goatee?" Cam groaned.

"Goats?" Vala cried.

"Not a real goat," Mark supplied for her.

"A fake one?" Vala innocently replied. "Why would anyone want to put a slug, ferret or a goat on their chin? Fake or otherwise."

"He means a beard, Vala," Sam said, coming to the other woman's rescue.

"Oh... I don't understand why you people feel the need to confuse everybody else with supplying what you really mean with the names of random animals..."

"I concur..." Teal'c added, nodding his head alongside Vala's.

The table paused while Daniel, his lips poised to speak, cocked his head to one side, gesturing at Teal'c.

"Don't even think about it," Jack warned before the other man could utter a word. He took a gulp of beer before glaring at Daniel sitting opposite him.

"How do you even know what I was going to say?"

"You were about to go off on a tirade about the English language, Daniel..." Jack sighed. "You do that a _lot_... of _course_ I knew what you were going to say."

Daniel merely frowned, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to quickly think of a retort.

"O'Neill is correct, Daniel Jackson..."

Daniel's mouth closed with a snap, his frown deepening as the smirk on Jack's face got bigger and Teal'c stony gaze stared back at him.

"Do they always do this?" Mark whispered, leaning into his sister's side.

"What's that?" Sam murmured back.

"Pick on each other."

A smile crept upon her lips "Uh-hu," Sam nodded. "Constantly..."

"And it doesn't bug you?" Mark asked innocently.

Sam shrugged. "Sometimes, maybe... Does it bug you?" she asked, as she turned to study him.

Mark mimicked her gesture, his shoulders bouncing up and down, smile teasing his lips. "Actually, no... They kinda amuse me..."

Sam's smiled turned into a full blown grin, a chuckle escaping her lips and she shook her head turning back to the table.

"What?" Mark nudged her shoulder with his own.

"That's what I used to think..."

"Used to?"

"Until she realised that Jack liked her laughing at his jokes," Daniel butted in, his body following his head as he leaned into their space. "Then she tried her utmost not to, just to piss him off..."

Mark simply grinned. "And now?"

"Now?" Daniel's glasses rose with his eyebrows. "Now, I don't even bother getting involved..."

Mark chuckled and shook his head.

"Thanks Daniel," he heard Sam mutter.

"My pleasure, Sam..."

"Yeah well, it won't be later..."


	4. Apparations, cartoons and Jaffa jokes

"Good shopping trip?" Jack asked, as three pairs of weary female legs hit the deck. Sam, Vala and Kelly, Mark's wife, all looked at each other before nodding in unison.

"Very successful!" Vala exclaimed, just as Daniel emerged from inside the house. He glanced at the three grins on the women's faces before shaking his head and passing out the beers to each man in turn.

"Starting early, I see?" Sam commented wryly, knowing it was only mid afternoon.

Jack merely grinned, before changing the subject. "Did you buy anything nice?"

"Oh, yes-" Vala made a grab for Sam's bag.

"Vala!" Sam cut her off and pulled the bag behind her back.

"Something you don't want us to see?" Daniel asked, one eyebrow rising above his glasses.

"You've nothing to be ashamed off, Samantha," Vala added.

"No, it's not that," Sam said defensively. She tightened her hold on her bag, her eyes flicking to Jack's subconsciously. "I just don't think that any of you would want to see it, that's all..."

"Why, what's wrong with it?" Daniel asked.

"Absolutely nothing!" Vala replied for her.

"Vala!" Sam said through gritted teeth.

She glanced at Jack again, the slight tilt in her head and the look in her eyes telling him she wanted him to intervene. He glanced back confused for a moment, before noticing the familiar colour of the bag. He was sure she'd shopped there sometime before. In fact... It suddenly clicked. It was a lingerie bag. But just as he opened his mouth to speak, Vala made a launch attack on the bag again and Daniel beat him to it.

"Well if there's nothing wrong-"

"Er, Daniel..."

"Jack..."

"If Sam doesn't want to show it to you, she doesn't have to..." He waved a bottle around in the air for added affect.

"You know what it is, don't you?"

Jack shrugged. "What if I do? Seriously, you don't want to see it."

"Trust me Daniel, you don't." Sam agreed.

"Well I for one don't think there's anything wrong with-"

"I think we all have an idea of what you think," Jack supplied, cutting Vala off mid stride. A few mouths dropped open as Vala feigned hurt. Sam merely raised her eyebrow at him. "What?" Jack cried. "You think _I_ want them knowing what's in there anymore than_ you_ do?"

"So you _do_ know what's in there..." Daniel tilted his head at him. The point was further accentuated by Teal'c's rising eyebrow and Cam's military 'I'm expecting an answer' face.

"So it's something that women can see, but men can't?" Mark speculated. Everyone's questioning gaze turned to him. "I'm going for deductive reasoning," He shrugged.

"Is it some sort of gadget?" Cam asked.

"And you thought there was something wrong with my line of thinking..." Vala practically purred at both Sam and Jack with a smug grin on her face. The two merely rolled their eyes in unison while the men exchanged worried glances.

"Wait a minute-"

"Seriously, Cam," Sam said, "You of all people, do not want to go there."

Daniel sat up in his seat. "But it's obviously something embarrassing or you wouldn't mind us seeing it." He watched as Sam shrugged. "And why Cam in particular?"

"Not Cam in particular," Sam stated. "All of you. And as I said, I don't have a problem with you seeing it, I just _know_ you guys don't _want _to..."

"Haven't we just stated that we do?" Cam asked.

"Well if you're sure?" Sam bit her lip.

"I believe it has been stated many times, Colonel Carter," Teal'c added. He pressed his fingertips together, making a steeple with his hands as he tilted his head at her. For a brief moment, Sam wondered exactly whose reaction he was eager to see.

"So we're absolutely clear?" She asked again. "You all agree you want to see?"

A series of nods bobbed around the table and Sam spared a nervous glance at Jack. The man covered up his smirk by lifting a bottle to his lips. "Hey, I can handle it if they can," He said.

Vala took full advantage of Sam's deflated state and made another grab for the bag. "There you go, darling..." She wandered over to Daniel and held it out like some sort of prize.

Sparing a glance at his fellow men, Daniel accepted the bag and pried the handles apart, his hand delving inside. He wasn't quite sure what he was expecting when his hand grasped something soft, almost silky in texture. He pulled his hand out, his curiosity piqued even more.

Holding up the two stringy garments, a series of jaws dropped around the table, while Sam tried to hide her laughter. Daniel practically threw the garment back into the bag in disgust.

"A gold bikini?" Cam groaned.

The women, plus Jack, all grinned at the horrified looks on the men's faces.

"Daniel, I officially hate you!" Cam exclaimed.

"I did warn you," Sam said as Daniel continued to glare at everyone in equal measure.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, "It appears as though you have witnessed an apparition."

"Seen a ghost," Sam supplied, seeing the odd look on her brother's face as he glanced between the two.

"Ah, he's okay, Teal'c," Jack wandered over and placed a hand on Daniels' shoulder. "Just lost another life, that's all."

"Very funny," Daniel said, turning between the friends.

"Daniel here has the habit of dying on us every once in a while," Jack added for the benefit of those present who didn't know him.

"I don't," Daniel claimed, turning to Mark to defend himself.

"How many times are we up to now?" Jack asked no one in particular.

"Eight." Teal'c supplied succinctly.

"Plus one, makes nine..." Jack said. "Shouldn't you be_ dead_ dead by now Danny boy?"

"I believe General Hammond once referred to you as a cat with nine lives," Teal'c added. His lips curved in amusement at his own words.

Daniel sighed and shook his head. "That is so _not_ true... I have not '_died_' eight times..."

"You know, on base," Sam stated, slipping onto a seat near the guys with a slight leer in her voice. "Daniel earned himself the nickname 'Kenny'..."

Mark immediately started laughing.

"What?" Daniel cried.

"I still do not understand this reasoning," Teal'c added.

"Why didn't I hear about this?" Daniel cried again.

"Oh c'mon," Sam replied. "You didn't realise when Jack started doing his Cartman impression, all the time?"

"Respect my authoritah!" Jack mimicked, as if on cue.

Sharing a brief look, Cam and Mark immediately burst out with "Oh my God! You killed Kenny!" and promptly started laughing.

Daniel merely groaned and put his head in his hands.

"It's South Park, Teal'c," Cam said, whacking the other guy gently on the arm. "It's a cartoon," He added, ignoring the look on Teal'c's face as he glanced from his arm to the man at his side.

"I much prefer The Simpsons," He stated.

"Ah, T, a man after my own heart!" Jack cried with glee.

"I have never attempted to remove your heart, O'Neill..."

"That's not what-" Jack sighed, cutting himself off and sitting down next to Sam. "Help me out here..." He added to the woman beside him.

"It's a figure of speech, Teal'c," She heard Cam say, before she could even formulate a response. She looked at Jack, then back at the other two men, now deep in conversation about human anatomy.

"Talking of anatomy..." Jack leaned in close and whispered in Sam's ear. "Are you going to model that for me later?" His eyes flicked between her and the bag at her feet.

"That depends..." Sam drawled.

"On what?"

"Are you going to model that waistcoat for me?"

"Ooh Samantha..." Jack leaned in and kissed her. They managed to ignore the rest of the crowd until a load groan coming from their left interrupted them.

"I _hate_ Star Wars..." Daniel moaned. Teal'c merely glared at him. "That's right!" Daniel waved his hand at him. "I blame you for this!" His hand gestured at the couple now sitting with their arms around each other.

"I had no hand in this matter, Daniel Jackson."

"We only started up movie nights because of you," Daniel added.

Teal'c turned to glance at the man. "Had you not 'died' so frequently, maybe you would have been present to prevent such an event occurring..."

Jack started laughing. "Was that a joke, T?"

The lips curved up upon the Jaffa's face. "Indeed."


End file.
